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Basketball Shirts

I remember small but meaningful moments of myself, eyes wide smiling and laughing, wearing my sparkly pink Barbie jumper.

I remember staring up at my brother as we wore our basketball shirts together drooping below our knees. I never liked basketball, but I wanted my brother to like me.

I remember wanting to be just like him.

I remember enjoying life as it came fantasising over the perfect future you were going to certainly have, living as a princess in a castle. Mimicking the lifestyle of the cartoon princess movies I watched on my television covered in stickers.

I remember as a child when it was easy to only be hurt by a cut or scrape on the ground, the things that I know are harmless now were always treated, as I melodramatically screamed that parts of my body were going to fall off.

I remember putting on a plaster to make the pain go away, the magical teddy bear patterned stickers that could patch up anything. If only I knew they didn’t work for feelings.

I remember in primary school making friends was as easy as seeing someone in the playground and saying hello. Then you were best friends forever.

I remember when I used to skip into school with my summer dress on and little plaits in my hair with not a worry or fright on my mind.

I remember when it wasn’t every day when the thoughts in my head decayed my happiness and replaced it with tears and a frown.

I remember when I didn’t have to talk to a stranger about all of my problems.

I remember when change wasn’t an issue that didn’t bother me at all.

I remember the days at school when I didn’t feel like the depressed weirdo who doesn’t know how to socialise and share their thoughts.

I remember feeling alone.

I remember not knowing and I wish that had stayed. I closed my eyes and remembered remembering.


Lucy Merry


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