Human
Khadija
why are the days suddenly
becoming more tiring
why do i feel like my energy is rapidly expiring
why was life actually full of colour years ago
how could i be dumb enough to never know
What part of the story failed to show?
and why did i hold onto my ego
why does it feel like discipline is disintegrating
why does every task feel disorientating
Like getting out of bed
Moving my legs and my head
Challenging my mind
Or trying to find an answer to life
I feel like everyone around
me is rude and mean
Judging every little detail not letting others be
How does it feel like to be seen
Is the whole world separated from me
Why do I feel like I’m so close
to accomplishing something
yet never achieve
Self-sabotage hits me like a brick
It hits my in the heart like an iceberg to a ship
As the bitter blood from my heart starts to drip
It’s always at bay waiting to get me back
Patience certainly isn’t it’s lack
Waiting for the precise moment
Just to attack
Would sacrifice everything just
to stab me in my back
It’s laughs at my pain
Smiles at my suffering
I try to escape but it pricks me like a bee sting
I can’t catch a break
Life constantly at stake
All because of my own stupid tiny mistake
It’s like a flap of a wing
which causes an earthquake
And I don’t know
Just how much more I can take
Compared to others life isn’t that bad
So I ask myself
“why does it drive me so mad?”
So I ask myself
“why do I sit there feeling sorry for myself?”
So I ask myself
“why do I barely feel reason to be glad?”
I realize I wouldn’t compare myself to those who are happy so I shouldn’t compare my self to others who feel the opposite
I realize if I wasn’t talking to myself I would be more considerate
I realize I don’t know when I might die so I should make the most of life
I realize life isn’t perfect but I can have more good days than bad, I will make life my comrade
So I can finally stop being sad
I look out the window
I observe down below
There’s rubbish dirt and vileness
But I don’t ignore the sky and I look up
And I see a rainbow
I forgot all about the rubbish, I could care less
I suddenly have less urge to stress
All I need to remember is
there are other perspectives
I realize you can’t
look at one perspective and run with it
I now know I shouldn’t restrict myself from what I could have been
I know when it comes to improving my life I can’t quit
I try to do better
Progress is greater
I feel like I have a better reason to be alive
I feel like I have more courage
I feel like I can finally thrive
I finally feel human
I love life
I feel human
I now want to survive
I feel human